Lord, thank you giving us the freedom of making choices so that we may plan our own lives.

It was about time I made some choices and stuck to them instead of jumping around like a wild monkey. With that intention, I had made the move from semi-rural Hapur to developed Delhi.

Its been four days since I shifted to the noisy, promising and ancient city. I’ve been roaming about like an unemployed duck looking for work to do and money to make. But I’ve been quite unsuccessful so far. Broadly, I want to:

1. Find a job (preferably part-time) as an internet marketing consultant in some company

2. Start working on my website more seriously

3. Tutor kids in Math, Science and English

4. Work on creating online math classes

5. Volunteer at an NGO.

These are the five areas of work which I want to involve myself in. Every single day. However, I still must admit that there is fear, doubt, uncertainty and a lack of aim as to what I want with my life. I really don’t know where or what I see myself as five years down the line. Yes, my life is that out of shape.

I haven’t found a job yet. Most of the openings that come through Naukri.com are in Gurgaon and I don’t want to relocate that far from Delhi. I’m not working on my website as seriously as I know I’m capable of but I do try and write a little on it everyday and I’m tutoring one class 4 child in Math, Science and English. Today, I even found an NGO where I can volunteer at though how I’m supposed to be doing it, I have not the slightest clue. It’s a non profit called  the Uday Foundation and they primarily focus on improving children’s health and rights.

I met a couple of people there today and the guy who was talking to me seemed enthusiastic and motivating. I hope the work will be equally rewarded. Like Sherlock Holmes, I want to find work where I work for work’s sake and not for the money, fame or friends. It will take me time to reach that stage but at least I’ve started. It’s better than sitting on my ass in Hapur and not doing much constructive stuff.

The only cautions which I must heed are:

1. Not get discouraged easily – This happened today. I went into some weird spell of disinterestedness and boredom smack in the middle of my conversation with the NGO guy and I had to snap out of it and maintain my focus. Again, when I sat down to write content for my website, I was highly demotivated and felt like giving it all up, felt it was futile. But again I had to remind myself that it was a valuable asset and it was my duty to take care of it. So I have to keep the momentum strong and inspired if I want to reach anywhere.

2. Not speak much but let actions show – I have to start becoming humble and modest about my affairs. I met a guy from college whom I’ve barely talked to earlier. He asked me what I was upto since college got over and I kind of started blowing my own trumpet. Later on, I felt like a cheap vain ass. And this has happened in the past so I need to keep away from such vain tendencies.

3. I must continue striving and keep my goals clear – All four actions above closely tie with my long term goals of working in the education sector